Ryoka

Disclaimer: Me no own. You no sue.

Other: Can be seen as shonen-ai.  Slight OOC and AU. Contains Renji in a dress ! o_O

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Ryoka

By NinjaKittyx3

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"I really don't think you're right in the head Urahara !" Renji yelled in annoyance. There was no way in hell he could be serious !

Urahara sighed. "It's the only way I can see to gather information."

"The only way ?" Byakuya blinked repeatedly at the pimp's stripy hat for a second. "You are sure ?"

Urahara smirked, but it was hidden behind his hat. "Positive."

Renji fumed in the background while the other men discussed the situation. "I am NOT doing that ! Kiss my ass Urahara !"

"There must be another way." Byakuya glanced at his boyfriend and then back to the pimp. "I cannot let him be humiliated like that."

"There isn't. I've looked." Ururu squeaked in the background, startling the men.

"Ahh, Ururu." Urahara straightened. "Thanks for the update."

Renji was still mumbling to himself in the background even though no one was paying any particular attention to him anymore. They were too confused.

"And another thing- !" Renji started but was stopped by a slap from Urahara. His head spun around.

"Shut up !" Urahara ordered. "Now put the dress on and get over it !" And with that he marched out of the room, followed by Ururu straight away.

Renji sat down on his bed and sighed heavily. He didn't want to do this... but if Yamamoto-sotaicho had ordered to find out more information on these ryoka, it had to be done.... But surely there had to be another way ! Byakuya sat down next to him and smiled.

"Come one." He said, "It's only for tonight."

Renji sighed. "Fine." He couldn't say no to Byakuya sometimes...

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"This is so not funny !" Renji exclaimed. He stood on a chair in the middle of a room while Byakuya tried to pin his dress. "Ow !"

"Oh, sorry."

"Byakuya, since when do you know how to pin a dress ?" Renji pondered.

Byakuya remained silent for a moment. "... I don't..."

Renji laughed at his boyfriend. "Oh gods, look at me." A look of sheer terror spread across Renji's face as Byakuya pulled a mirror in front of him.

"Well now... this is odd." Byakuya mused.

"Very." Renji looked at himself with wide eyes. Okay, his red hair went with the pink dress, but that's it. And maybe his tattoos went with the stitching, and his eyes- Okay, too far.

"You look..." Byakuya struggled for words and resisted the urge to giggle, "... nice."

Renji jumped off of the chair and stared at him. "Funny, Byakuya, really."

Byakuya pulled two oranges from the fruit bowl and put them down Renji's dress. "There." he said as he adjusted them to sit right.

"Yeah thanks a lot." he looked at himself in the mirror. "God... what're we going to do about my tattoos ?"

Byakuya searched inside a drawer and pulled out a bag. "Got it covered."

Renji's eyes widened at the man who was approaching  him. "Please tell me that isn't make-up ... ?"

Byakuya fished out a small tube of something and a brush. He glanced at the tube and realized. "Oh... wrong tube..."

"What was that ?" Renji smirked; of course he knew what that little tube was... it came in handy...

"Nothing..." Byakuya approached him with the correct tube this time - one that contained foundation. "Now hold still..."

Renji remained silent for a little while, while his boyfriend applied his make-up in an attempt to make him more 'girly'. Eventually it became too much for Renji when Byakuya did his air in all curls. "I LOOK LIKE A CHICK !"

Byakuya laughed a little. "Well, that is meant to be the plan."

Urahara suddenly burst in the room. "Are you freaking ready yet !?"

Byakuya smiled at Renji's irritated sound. "Yes, actually..."

Urahara grabbed Renji's hand. "Good. Tonight you're one of my 'girls'."

Renji pulled his hand away. "Don't remind me."

"Well.. we have to get going now. Say bye."

"Bye."

"Bye."

And with that, Renji and Urahara were out the door.

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Byakuya sighed. Renji had been gone for a while now. He was starting to get worried now.

And then, at exactly the right moment, Renji burst in looking like a wreck.

"What happened to you !?" Byakuya jumped up and rushed to Renji's aid.

"Damn ryoka is what happened." he looked at himself in the mirror and tied his hair up like normal, only it was slightly curly.

Byakuya fetched some baby wipes and began to clean off the make-up from Renji's face. "What did the do to you ? Where is Urahara  ?"

"They can't keep their hands off, that's what happened to me." Renji sighed and threw off the torn dress. "He's still down there. Oh, they love him."

Byakuya blinked at Renji's sudden lack of clothing. Suddenly, Renji grabbed his hand and led him towards the bedroom. "What're you doing ?" he asked.

"Fetch your make up bag." Renji replied. "I need to feel like a man again."

~Owari~

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Slight sequel to 'Ichigo'. What do you think ? Please let me know by reviewing ! Please ? I like this one ... even though it's like 5:30 am... '-.-
I hope you get the 'tube' bit... ... ... XD